


I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way

by Jamaford



Series: I want to complicate you [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fake AH Crew, M/M, and James and Michael need to get their shit together, breremy, dub con, they're drunk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-25
Updated: 2016-01-25
Packaged: 2018-05-16 03:11:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5811427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jamaford/pseuds/Jamaford
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Can I fuck Bruce?”</p><p>Michael’s eyes were wide and innocent looking, probably to throw Jeremy off balance even more. The question had come out of fucking <i>nowhere</i> and the asshole was trying to make it look like he’d just asked Jeremy to pass the salt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm bad behavior but I do it in the best way

**Author's Note:**

> HA what have I gotten myself into.

Of all the things Jeremy had been expecting when Michael had said they needed to talk this wasn’t it.

“Can I fuck Bruce?”

Michael’s eyes were wide and innocent looking, probably to throw Jeremy off balance even more. The question had come out of fucking _nowhere_ and the asshole was trying to make it look like he’d just asked Jeremy to pass the salt. 

“Michael what the _fuck_ ,” Jeremy all but yelled. Shaking his head Michael shushed him and lolled back in his chair. “People are staring Lil’ J, you gotta keep the noise down.”

He wasn’t wrong; the other customers at the little bistro Michael had chosen were quite obviously trying to see what was going on between the two of them at their table. Many of them were at least sort of trying to seem discreet but several Jeremy recognized and they clearly did not give a fuck if he saw them staring. Squinting he was pretty sure he  
recognized both Chad and Craig from Screw Attack and a little wave from the one he was pretty sure was Chad confirmed it. 

Getting back to the task at hand, Jeremy stared Michael down. The other man was still lounging back in his chair and the grin on his face mad it all too clear he was enjoying Jeremy’s confusion. After several seconds of Jeremy’s dead eyed stare he rolled his eyes and leant forward.

“Listen, James and I have got a sort of..bet? I guess you would call it a bet yeah.”

“You’re betting on whether or not you can fuck Bruce?”

Michael scoffed. “Bruce ain’t shit. No offense,” he added quickly at Jeremy’s raised eyebrow. “Nah, James and I are competing to see who can fuck the entire opposing team first. I’m winning, but I’ve still gotta do Bruce, Spoole, Elyse, and Adam.”

“Michael, there is no way in hell you can fuck my boyfriend,” Jeremy said. “I don’t give a shit about your bet.”  
Groaning, Michael rubbed his hand over his face. “We get one freebie,” he explained. “But I really really wanted to use it for Adam, because that guy hates my fucking guts. Like a lot.”

Jeremy sighed. “Listen, if I help you get laid with Adam will you leave Bruce alone?”

“Hell fucking yeah Lil’ J,” Michael said. “Although I doubt you’ll do shit.”  
Jeremy rolled his eyes and pulled a couple bills out of his pocket to pay for their meal. Dropping them on the table, he followed Michael out, flipping Screw Attack off as the door swung shut.

\---

Date Nights were probably one of the best decisions Jeremy and Bruce had made in their relationship. Well, it had been mostly Bruce’s idea, but it was a good one and Bruce was okay with saying that. They were never very fancy but they were a good way for the two to see each other fairly regularly. Even if Funhaus and Fake AH were technically on a truce Geoff and Adam still had a slight issue with trusting each other and a bigger issue with willingly spending time together. Bruce and Jack had been working on it together, and it was honestly a great way for him to get to know Jeremy’s crew. So far they were pretty nice, except for Ryan who ignored him and Geoff who glared at him when he thought Bruce wasn’t looking. According to Jack, Geoff was being a “giant whiny overprotective pissbaby” and would get over himself.

Although today Bruce’s problems had been more within Funhaus. He was struggling to find a good way to bring it up to Jeremy while they cuddled on the couch. 

“So uh, weird thing happened today,” Bruce said.

Tilting his head up to look at Bruce, Jeremy frowned. “What is it babe?”

“Uh, James wants to sleep with you?” Bruce said, not really sure how to phrase it without making Jeremy want to run away. To his surprise (and confused relief) Jeremy just groaned and grumbled something about Michael.

“Babe?”

Jeremy flopped onto Bruce’s chest. “Michael wants to have sex with you. I told him he could go fuck himself, but now I’ve gotta help him sleep with Adam instead.”  
Bruce had never been more confused in his goddamn life. “Jeremy I don’t know how the fuck that makes sense,” he stated.

As Jeremy explained the bet the pieces began to fall into place for Bruce. James and Michael’s sudden closeness, the way James would sometimes walk into the base with a smug grin. The fact that the last time the crews had met up to go bar hopping Gavin had turned bright red when James had talked to him, and refused to make eye contact with anyone.

“Bruce oh my god!” Jeremy exclaimed. Startled out of his thoughts Bruce jumped and fell off the end of the couch. Jeremy’s head popped out over the top, grinning excitedly.

“You can help Michael sleep with Adam! And I can help James sleep with Geoff and then they can get on with their fucking bet and leave us alone!”  
Bruce just groaned and let his head hit the floor.

\---

“I don’t like that we have to help _him_ as well,” Michael grumbled. “C’mon Lil’ J, what happened to crew loyalty?”

Jeremy rolled his eyes and kicked Michael in the shin. “There’s Bruce and James now. Just go with Bruce, and if you make a move on him I swear to _god_ -”

“Chill out,” Michael said. “Bruce is gonna get Kovic to wanna bone me, you’re helping James do Geoff, it’s all good. You have the easy job anyways; Geoff will drop his pants for practically anyone.”

That was what Jeremy fucking hoped. The sooner he was done with all of this bullshit the sooner he could get back to his nice, healthy relationship. Suddenly, he felt a hand on his ass, and a sigh resounded from his right. 

“James, please stop groping my boyfriend,” Bruce sighed, slipping into the seat next to Jeremy and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. Sliding in between Michael and Jeremy James grinned merrily and flagged the bartender down immediately. “C’mon Bruce, what’s a little ass groping between friends?” he replied, winking at Michael. “Speaking of, how are you doing with our competition Jones? Because a little birdie might have mentioned to me that you managed to have some fun with a one Lawrence Sonntag, and well I figured I should retaliate somehow.” He laughed cockily. “Tuggey won’t be coming tonight by the way. She’s pretty tired out, although _man_ can she go for a while. I was almost late.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Whatever, so we’re tied. After we get the bosses I’ll kick your ass anyways.”

Jeremy and Bruce exchanged twin looks of irritation. Out of the corner of his eye Jeremy noticed Adam enter the bar with Joel and Spoole. Fake AH had been there for an hour already, and Geoff looked irritated from his place in the corner. Aside from the two heads, Funhaus and Fake AH started to mingle and soon everyone was pretty buzzed. After both James and Michael had gotten a few drinks in Jeremy and Bruce led them over to their respective heads for a “proper introduction”. 

“James I swear to God if you grab my ass one more time I will kick you out of this bar,” Jeremy muttered darkly as the two made their way over to Geoff. James managed to keep his hands to himself after that. “Boss,” Jeremy said once they’d reached the table Geoff was sitting at. “I wanted to introduce you properly to one of Funhaus’ key members, James Willems.”

Geoff blinked slowly at him through a haze of drunkenness that seemed to always surround him. “I know who he is. He’s the fucker that managed to blow up our entire weapons stock less than a year ago.” Wincing, Jeremy opened his mouth to try again, but miraculously Jack beat him to it.

“Geoff,” Jack smacked him. “Remember how you promised to you know, actually fucking get along with the group of people you allied yourself with?” She turned to James and gave him a warm smile. “He’s just being an asshole. You’re the demo expert for Funhaus correct?”

Giving her a wide grin James plopped himself down at their table, letting Jeremy hesitantly follow suit.

“That’s right!” James chirped. 

“You’ve probably met Michael then; he’s our guy for all that fun stuff, though of course I taught him everything he knows,” Jack’s grin turned shark like for a moment. It didn’t faze James however. “Oh Michael and I are _very_ well acquainted,” he purred. Starting to feel mildly uncomfortable with the way James’ gaze was fixated on Geoff Jeremy excused himself to get a drink. About halfway to the bar he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“This is just about the bet correct?” Jack asked.

“You know?” Jeremy asked, incredulous.

Jack grinned again. “Of course I know. Michael can’t tie his goddamn shoelaces without checking with either me or Geoff, and I have fifty bucks put on him winning.”

“Against who?”

“Joel of course. Who else would James tell?”

Jeremy nodded. “Fair enough I guess. Don’t worry though; all James wants is to bone Geoff.”

“Well in that case I’ll do him that favour and leave them alone. Geoff’s so drunk already it’s not going to take much more of James batting those baby blues before they vanish somewhere,” and with that Jack slipped away into the crowd, muttering a quick word in the ear of Joel Rubin before vanishing behind a cluster of people. When Jeremy craned his neck to try and see around them he felt another body behind him. “Why the fuck does everyone want to sneak up behind me tonight?” Jeremy exclaimed, but before he could say anything else Bruce captured his lips in a soft kiss. 

“Adam is eating up every compliment Michael gives him. I gotta hand it to the kid, he really knows what he’s doing,” Bruce muttered to Jeremy. Peering around the taller man Jeremy could just make out Michael practically sitting in Adam’s lap.

“Well Kovic warmed up to him quick,” he remarked. Bruce snorted.

“Adam will warm up to anyone once you get a few drinks in him. Even,” he leant down to kiss Jeremy again, “some no good Fake AH member.”

“I hear those fucks are just terrible,” Jeremy nodded sagely. “All talk and nothing to back it up.”

Bruce smirked at him. “I don’t know,” he said. “I think some of them are alright.” 

“Wanna get out of here?” Jeremy asked. “Because from the looks of things,” he nodded in Geoff and James’ direction. “I’d say we’ve got nothing to worry about.”

The two did look especially cozy. James had sidled up so close to Geoff he was pressing right up against him and Jeremy could see him tracing idle patterns on the older man’s thigh. James and Geoff had both had enough to drink that Jeremy was totally confident that they didn’t need to be there anymore, and Adam and Michael had already disappeared.  
Bruce pulled Jeremy in for one last kiss and grinned. “If half of our friends have already disappeared I'd say there’s no time to waste.”

\---

Bruce woke up the next morning with a very warm weight pressed into his side and three new texts. The first two were from James, one winking face and one picture that Bruce resolutely refused to open. The other was from an unknown number.

 **Unknown:** And you can tell your boss to keep the underwear ;)

“Jeremy!” Bruce shrieked.

**Author's Note:**

> Welp I don't know how I feel about this but I wanted to write more for this pairing. Leave a comment/kudos and lemme know about mistakes.  
> Also it's never mentioned but to make the lists even, Michael has to sleep with all of Funhaus (including James) bar his freebie and James has to sleep with Gavin, Michael, Geoff, Jack, Ryan, Jeremy, Ray, and Lindsay. Michael has slept with Lawrence, James, Peake, Joel, and Adam and James has slept with Lindsay, Michael, Gavin, Ryan (somehow), and Geoff.


End file.
